Once in a while I like to stop and take a break from managing our business, cooking, doing household chores, answering emails, writing or whatever comes up at the moment, and reflect on where I am in my journey in life, not necessarily on the outside, but where I am in relationship to myself. Recently, I asked myself after remembering Don Miguel Ruiz’s four codes of living (Youtube presentation which I share at the end of this article), what is important to me? What guides me in my day-to-day living from the inside out? And this is what I came up with:
1. Integrity. Being true to myself and being truthful with others; once one has integrity as the foundation of one’s life, everything flows from that foundation.
2. Letting go of attachments, leads to having the ability to remain cool, calm and collected, or “C.C.C.”, as a co-worker tried to teach me over 20 years ago which were my volatile years, and I would often react without thinking first and fly off the handle. Problem was, I didn’t understand then, that in order to have a state of equanimity, I had to let go of attachments or expectations. It is our attachments, such as the attachment of being right in a petty argument, or wanting a loved one to behave in a certain way, or cling to what is no longer working for us, such as a dead-end or stressful job, is what causes suffering. My partner and I get along beautifully, but we are different: he is a nature loving man and I am a city girl; oh, how I love the city and its lights, diverse cultures, fine cuisine, while he loves the critters, the trees and his cabin in the woods. Yet neither one tries to change the other, and without this pressure on each other, we have merged both our worlds. The wonderful result is I have learned to be attuned to nature, to be inspired, without pressure or attachments from my mate, however, my mate does not do well in the city, so no pressure from me!
3. Going with the flow… there are goals and experiences in life we may have an influence on (or think we do), but in general I am starting to learn that trusting and stepping out-of-the-way allows for me to live from inspiration as opposed to handling my life only from the logical side of my brain, which often keeps one’s mind going in circles trying to figure out solutions that sometimes can keep one trapped. When I want to make a change or carry out a goal, I give it plenty of thought if it calls for it, but then I usually release it to the Source/God/Divine, whatever we may wish to call this Consciousness, and when the answer comes, I act on it, well most of the time. I am still a work in progress. Hey, no attachment, I am doing the best I can.
4. And above all, be Love… and harm no one. In a planet filled with humans with ego dramas running amok which Eckart Tolle often points out, there may be the human being who will cross our path and test us, but living in a world within that is a daily expression of love, for self and for life, pretty much balances out the challenges that may come now and then into our space. Every experience we have is an opportunity to ask ourselves, why it’s there. I am not a Gandhi or Mother Theresa, when someone crosses me, I still may get annoyed and may be direct, but the need to get even or put the person down is not there, so the memory or attachment pretty much fades away for me.
It’s simple...we each have our unique codes for living without having to pause and ponder, but once we take the time to introspect, it’s interesting to know what drives us in life, as it gives us a snapshot of our inner world, not to judge but to understand why we have the life we are experiencing and where we are now in understanding.
What are your agreements?
Don Miguel Ruiz- Four Agreements